you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
