Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
