There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
