In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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