you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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