Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
