i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
