Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
