Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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