dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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