i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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