Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
