guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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