3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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