Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.

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(636): View more from Missouri

His little brother walked in on us. Six times.

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(425): View more from Washington

I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.

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(650): View more from California

its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night

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