Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne

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(801): View more from Utah

I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?

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(813): View more from Florida

I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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(914): View more from New York

Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.

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(207): View more from Maine

Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.

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