using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.