Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.