Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize