Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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  (281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij
  Replies (12) Good night (2789) Bad night (489)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw

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  (856): I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw http://tfl.nu/7ysm
  Replies (9) Good night (1088) Bad night (2290)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i always forget guys have bellybuttons

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  (717): i always forget guys have bellybuttons http://tfl.nu/yqdn
  Replies (84) Good night (3622) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.

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  (865): I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen. http://tfl.nu/w8us
  Replies (33) Good night (2200) Bad night (3356)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

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  (610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. http://tfl.nu/693g
  Replies (16) Good night (951) Bad night (4317)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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  (410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad
  Replies (25) Good night (4365) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.

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  (912): I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection. http://tfl.nu/273s
  Replies (17) Good night (4496) Bad night (1047)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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  (407): Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary. http://tfl.nu/ntpi
  Replies (4) Good night (1816) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.

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  (603): The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon. http://tfl.nu/hw0j
  Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....

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  (843): Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom..... http://tfl.nu/jt5r
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.

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  (310): Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me. http://tfl.nu/c54s
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.

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  (440): I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy. http://tfl.nu/x3g5
  Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.

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  (603): Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/ouph
  Replies (3) Good night (241) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"

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  (701): So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?" http://tfl.nu/ca7z
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's

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  (512): This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's http://tfl.nu/e5h3
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (211)

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