Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
