OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
