This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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