I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
