I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
