Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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