So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
