you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
