I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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