Can Purell be used as lube?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We have started to decorate penises.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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