oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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