Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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