i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
