Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
