flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize