these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.