dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?