why didn't you poke me back
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Randomize
