Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...

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(610): Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon... http://tfl.nu/ozcp

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(314): View more from Missouri

handjob tips. give me some.

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(314): handjob tips. give me some. http://tfl.nu/678j

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(972): View more from Texas

It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

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(972): It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old http://tfl.nu/d8tm

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(+44): View more from England

You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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(+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway. http://tfl.nu/z6cq

Replies (34) Good night (5905) Bad night (1271)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet

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(816): Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet http://tfl.nu/ftvp

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(678): View more from Georgia

When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.

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(678): When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick. http://tfl.nu/i6to

Replies (22) Good night (5967) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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(850): View more from Florida

You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer

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(850): You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer http://tfl.nu/uk5v

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(419): View more from Ohio

How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

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(419): How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/9rcf

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(425): View more from Washington

the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition

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(425): the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition http://tfl.nu/w42o

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(520): View more from Arizona

Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals

(480): View more from Arizona

Are you high and at a petting zoo again?

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(520): Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals (480): Are you high and at a petting zoo again? http://tfl.nu/ph9z

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(330): View more from Ohio

i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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(330): i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait. http://tfl.nu/bv41

Replies (15) Good night (2696) Bad night (797)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.

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(228): It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression. http://tfl.nu/876s

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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(202): This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point. http://tfl.nu/l1mt

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(708): View more from Illinois

Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

(1-708): View more from Illinois

Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

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(708): Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything? (1-708): Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference. http://tfl.nu/anav

Replies (14) Good night (1169) Bad night (461)
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(219): View more from Indiana

The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.

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(219): The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/mbl4

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