maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
