My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
