Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
