I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
