I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
