I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you never un-have a 4some
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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