i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
