Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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