There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
