i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it was like eating out sand paper
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
