I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.