Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"

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  (703): Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises" http://tfl.nu/h5gc
  Replies (3) Good night (1609) Bad night (468)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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  (604): Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life. http://tfl.nu/tq60
  Replies (15) Good night (1052) Bad night (3776)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.

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  (641): Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that. http://tfl.nu/il0g
  Replies (15) Good night (4128) Bad night (978)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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  (507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7
  Replies (52) Good night (1102) Bad night (6091)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon

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  (785): It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon http://tfl.nu/mcj5
  Replies (33) Good night (894) Bad night (6274)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  everyone's regretting their thursdays.

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  (813): Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird? (203): everyone's regretting their thursdays. http://tfl.nu/3lei
  Replies (7) Good night (4214) Bad night (900)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.

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  (248): Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her. http://tfl.nu/h3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (2571) Bad night (952)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

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  (573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9
  Replies (7) Good night (2604) Bad night (991)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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  (774): its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody http://tfl.nu/wrf2
  Replies (12) Good night (2646) Bad night (741)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

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  (414): could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor? http://tfl.nu/bpu5
  Replies (9) Good night (1430) Bad night (897)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.

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  (740): Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dou8
  Replies (8) Good night (1306) Bad night (474)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
  Replies (10) Good night (545) Bad night (830)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.

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  (248): I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice. http://tfl.nu/pazi
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (317)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie

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  (508): Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie http://tfl.nu/abbt
  Replies (5) Good night (965) Bad night (220)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1

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  (727): It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1 http://tfl.nu/uvim
  Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (226)

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