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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  there's paper in my vomit.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm the Oprah of jello shots

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.

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