ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?