Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."