I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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