He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
