how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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