i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
