i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
