Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
