I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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