i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
