Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
