I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
