if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
