And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you never un-have a 4some
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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