Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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