Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
