dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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