The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
