direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize