last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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