belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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