a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we're chasing vodka with high fives
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
