now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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